Vapid Vanity in America

What is up with America’s obsession with perfection? Recently, I have found that cosmetic procedures have gotten WAY out of hand and it is a symptom of a bigger problem.

I don’t mean your basic procedures – if you do not like the bump on your nose, have rhinoplasty. Have the tummy tuck if it makes you feel better after having children. (I admit I wish I could afford it at times.) If you have lost a great deal of weight, good for you! Now, go have that excess skin removed to finish what you started on the way to a healthier you.

I am talking about the excess of surgeries and the new procedures that take vanity to a whole new low. Sharon Osbourne has racked up $700,000 in plastic surgery in recent years. Elvis’ Priscilla (see above pic) has had so much face work done that she is unrecognizable. Last year, after appearing in a popular woman’s magazine declaring that she loved her imperfections, Ashlee Simpson showed up in Hollywood… after her plastic surgeon fixed her to look almost identical to her sister Jessica.

Now, new, and in my opinion disturbing, procedures are becoming commonplace. Hey ladies, if you think your genital region is less than perky, have labiaplasty. Want to “feel touched for the very first time” again as Madonna sang in the 1980’s? Vaginaplasty is the answer for you. If you feel size matters, sign up for phalloplasty. Think your derrière could use a polish – try anal bleaching.

I could go on and on, especially about how the age of people seeking out plastic surgery in decreasing, and not just for breast augmentation. My problem with this latest tread is two-fold. With all the hunger, illiteracy, and problems in our country alone (mid-West is under water and The Big Easy still has not fully recovered from Katrina for example), couldn’t people with means find a more meaningful way to use their money?

My biggest fear is what effect this incessant vapid vanity is having on our youth. Everywhere they look, they are being bombarded with images of medical perfection, chiseled good looks, and seemingly ideal bodies. Life is neither fair nor perfect (if it was, life would be called guilt-free, endless chocolate cake instead). This latest trend is one more step our country is taking into the vast wasteland of sheer ineffectuality. As my good friend here at 1% More Conscious talks about Chimpy and Cheerleader Joe dragging our country into futility, I am afraid, dear readers, that this rising obsession with perfecting ourselves is a vain masking of how far we have fallen from being that all important “Number One”. Worse, we are bringing the next generation with us.

A Different World

As a part time job, I nanny for two kids, a boy (2), and a girl (8). The other day, Emma and I were watching "Get A Clue" starring Lindsay Lohan (pre-rehab), and as the credits rolled, my little companion turned to me and said, "She's so pretty. Too bad she's a drug person. What a waste." And (having used up her allotted television time for the day on the movie) went on her merry way, building fashionistas out of model magic and coloring. Emma, like most children her age, still values the opinion of her parents more than the people she sees on TV.

Now, I love celebrities. I take a special interest, it seems, in the ladies of so-called "Young Hollywood." Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Britney Spears. It's like watching that nice girl you used to play with from across the street doing body shots at her first frat party. You can't stop liking her because she's made a couple of bad decisions, and you definitely can't look away. You just try to remember the good times and maybe help her put her shirt back on at the end of the night.


But then again, I'm 20. These girls are my peers, not my role models. I grew up with the Spice Girls. Cameras didn't follow them around day and night, catching them throwing up outside of a club or shaving their heads in a fit of insanity. At least, that's not the Spice World I remember. It was all "girl power!" and shiny outfits and I was on board. But now we've got a batch of ex Disney child stars gone wild running around Hollywood, and kids are interested. They recognize Lindsay Lohan from "Freaky Friday" and now she's accused of grand theft, DUI, posession of cocaine and is back in rehab? For the second time! Britney Spears has been plastered all over TV from the time she was a pre-teen, from the Mickey Mouse Club to Pepsi commercials, and we're all well aware of her downward spiral. Granted, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have never been marketed towards children (thank God), but they're out there and little girls especially are watching. And now Paris has just finished a stint in jail, Nicole Richie is close behind her and Mischa Barton has become Marissa Cooper.

Like I said, I'm all about it. You keep drinking vodka out of that Poland Springs bottle, Lindsay. Who cares about which side of the freeway you're supposed to drive on, Nicole? But parents need to be more aware of how much exposure to these crazies their children are receiving. They obviously do not have your kids' best interest in mind, so that means you have to. It is unfair to put upon these young ladies such a responsibility when it's clear that they can hardly get themselves safely from sun up to sun down. Stop the madness, turn off the TV and have a chat with the little ones about these "drug people." God only knows when Hannah Montana is going to start taking off her pants in public, so let's not leave it to her or anyone else to shape a young person's sense of morality. The girl down the street is going to grow up and get herpes no matter how upset it makes the neighborhood. You can't change what she's doing, but you can stop hiring her to babysit.