W T F ! 2007: A Review

As we bid adieu to 2007 tonight, let’s take a look back at the things we should not repeat. Here are the W T F’s of 2007, in no particular order:

1.The Publication of I Did It: This year, Ron Goldman’s family won the rights to the book called If I Did It that O.J. Simpson wrote about if he had “hypothetically” killed Ron and Simpson’s ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson. The Goldman family, still owed money from the civil trial (the Brown family also is owed money from this trial), was awarded the manuscript by a Florida bankruptcy court. After changing the title, the Goldman family and Beaufort Books released the book this past September.

Whether you believe Simpson did it or not, The Goldmans should take a page out of the Browns playbook – let it go. Yes, you are in pain. Yes, the court awarded you monetary damages. But seriously, is publishing this book going to bring back your son? What about Nicole’s children that already have to live with the facts of the murder of their mother and all of the previous published and aired news pieces on the matter? Is the money you made from the book worth it?

Still the only class act in this debacle is the Brown family, putting the kids first and trying to heal their inconceivable loss. Let’s hope there will not be any more W T F’s in this matter.

2.The Natalee Holloway Debacle: In the summer of 2005, I sat horrified in a foreign country as the media reported how this young woman on a high school graduation trip with 124 of her classmates and at least 8 chaperones in Aruba.

Again this year, the three original suspects, Joran van der Sloot and Satish and Deepak Kalpoe, were re-arrested and then released. The prosecutor said that the case would be closed without charges being brought against anyone.

We have problems in our legal system, no doubt. But, how can people not find even one viable lead or witness on a 20-mile by 5-mile island? I know we have unsolved cases here but, Aruba is only slightly larger that the borough of Manhattan and has 1.4 million less people. Sigh… it is frustrating to me as a parent and a BIG W T F.

3. Reality Shows – don’t make me laugh: Before some of attack me here me out. I don’t mean things such a Dancing with the Stars, Top Chef, Project Runway, etc. These shows are interesting as people are competing doing some task that many of us wish we could do as well as those competing.

I am talking about things that highlight the idiocy of our species – WifeSwap, The Bachelor, Big Brother, and anything on MTV. Do we really need to see how people are worse off than ourselves to give us a self-esteem boost? If you need the boost, tune into any entertainment show and get the latest on the Britney slow boat to emotional meltdown. In this day and age, do we need to see women so desperate for love and marriage they get on a TV show to throw themselves at some guy to take care of them. What happened to “I Am Woman”? Can we start a petition or a movement to get these things off the air… please? W T F!

4. Media in general – When did MSNBC, CNN, etc. start carrying such in depth coverage of celeb-u-tards? Look, I freely admit that I keep up with those things (to keep up with my students), but I go to specific outlets for those tidbits. I watch CNN to get world news, weather, etc. The fact that some debu-tard got out of a limo without panties should never run before the news of an impending snow day. W T F - everything has its proper place.

5. Holiday shopping- Look, I feel for people that are single parents, de facto single parents, or just busy parents. I am one and have been for years. I can feel your pain of trying to spread the holiday cheer with your kids in tow. However, please remember, your kids are people too and have limits. Never bring a toddler on a 6+ hour shopping trip with less than 2 weeks to Christmas and expect that the child won’t utter a peep. All the commotion that now surrounds the holidays is enough to make a grown-up who understands what is going on cry. Help yourself and the economy (a 2 for 1 deal), hire a babysitter, bribe a friend, threaten a family member and leave your cherub(s) home. You may find that everyone will be more in the holiday spirit for doing so... and you won't be screaming W T F in front of your impressionable children.

Here is wishing that we learn from our mistakes and grown form it in the New Year. Wishing all a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2008!

Money Doesn't Buy Class

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the pop culture proverbial water now that Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears seem to be taking sobriety seriously for once, now come along a trainwreck-in-training, who is being trained by none other than her trashy sister.

Bear with me....

Kim Kardashian, former friend of Hilton, etc., is desperate for attention. She hangs out at all the right places, is rich, etc. but does not get the paparazzi's attention like the other. She has no talent (I know that doesn't stop Spears and Hilton)and basically she is mostly known for being a slut (sorry! truth hurts) and Bruce Jenner's step-daughter (yes Olympian decathlete Bruce Jenner).

Here is a clip from Kardashian's new reality series (isn't reality TV so yesterday?!?!), Keeping Up With The Kardashians on the E! Network. In this "morsel", we find out the following things:

1) Ms. Kardashian bought her mother and step-father a stripper pole for their anniversary, located in the master bedroom, which she promptly shows of to party guest Robin Antin, creator of the Pussycat Dolls.

2) Ms. Kardashian's 9 year old half-sister comes in when Kardashian and Antin are "working out on the pole and the little girl ..... sit down for this one... the little girl demonstrates moves on the pole that would make Gypsy Rose Lee blush.

Now, at least Jenner comes in at the end and calls this what it is: inappropriate behavior. But, tell me please, what chance do ANY little girls have in America, heck in the world, of growing up with self-worth, self-esteem, and good body image if older girls they admire (and in this case live with and are related to) are acting this way?

The shock and awe factor of everything aimed at the younger generation, such as this trashy display, is and has gotten way out of control. I mean, I can hear Nero fiddling away as I type. Believe me, I feel like I am a prude for saying things like this, but safe experimentation with a funky hair color or several ear piercings in the name of finding your identity as a female are a far cry from a prepubescent girl bumping and grinding against a stripper pole on world-wide TV in her parents' bedroom. Things like that are not innate in girls that age, nor should they be. Before your very eyes, you can view at the above link how a little girl can lose her innocence and others laugh about it as if it is no big deal. It is sadly depressing and scary.

I won't even talk about how Emily Post is rolling in her grave about how improper it is to take party guests to a room that is not yours, and is a PRIVATE room.

This proves that money doesn't buy class and that for those of us that have manners, dignity, et. al., we are shoveling against a torrent of ...well, crap.

Speaking of shovels, I am going to my shovel and my bat, and put them in my car ... just in case the tide gets too close to home.

Vapid Vanity in America

What is up with America’s obsession with perfection? Recently, I have found that cosmetic procedures have gotten WAY out of hand and it is a symptom of a bigger problem.

I don’t mean your basic procedures – if you do not like the bump on your nose, have rhinoplasty. Have the tummy tuck if it makes you feel better after having children. (I admit I wish I could afford it at times.) If you have lost a great deal of weight, good for you! Now, go have that excess skin removed to finish what you started on the way to a healthier you.

I am talking about the excess of surgeries and the new procedures that take vanity to a whole new low. Sharon Osbourne has racked up $700,000 in plastic surgery in recent years. Elvis’ Priscilla (see above pic) has had so much face work done that she is unrecognizable. Last year, after appearing in a popular woman’s magazine declaring that she loved her imperfections, Ashlee Simpson showed up in Hollywood… after her plastic surgeon fixed her to look almost identical to her sister Jessica.

Now, new, and in my opinion disturbing, procedures are becoming commonplace. Hey ladies, if you think your genital region is less than perky, have labiaplasty. Want to “feel touched for the very first time” again as Madonna sang in the 1980’s? Vaginaplasty is the answer for you. If you feel size matters, sign up for phalloplasty. Think your derrière could use a polish – try anal bleaching.

I could go on and on, especially about how the age of people seeking out plastic surgery in decreasing, and not just for breast augmentation. My problem with this latest tread is two-fold. With all the hunger, illiteracy, and problems in our country alone (mid-West is under water and The Big Easy still has not fully recovered from Katrina for example), couldn’t people with means find a more meaningful way to use their money?

My biggest fear is what effect this incessant vapid vanity is having on our youth. Everywhere they look, they are being bombarded with images of medical perfection, chiseled good looks, and seemingly ideal bodies. Life is neither fair nor perfect (if it was, life would be called guilt-free, endless chocolate cake instead). This latest trend is one more step our country is taking into the vast wasteland of sheer ineffectuality. As my good friend here at 1% More Conscious talks about Chimpy and Cheerleader Joe dragging our country into futility, I am afraid, dear readers, that this rising obsession with perfecting ourselves is a vain masking of how far we have fallen from being that all important “Number One”. Worse, we are bringing the next generation with us.