Thursday, January 25, 2007



I had great expectations for Tuesday night’s State of Delusion; I really did. Just like a toddler who couldn’t wait to watch his favorite Baby Einstein DVD, I eagerly expected our Commander of a Chimp to do what he does best—to give a good “talk,” to talk about new, non-terrorist, domestic initiatives, the war on terror, terrorists, extreme terrorists, and, of course, the terrorism in the Middle East. And he didn’t disappoint at all.

What has been disappointing is that he STILL doesn’t get it, does he? Perhaps. But just like poor, pathetic Pip from Great Expectations, Chimpy still believes in the unbelievable; he stills believes we can win the un-winnable—the war in Iraq. Or at least that’s what he’s telling us in a sad effort to WIN us over.

But no one can convince him and his Sith Lord, Darth Cheney, not even the most right of the Right Wing, Senator “I want to change the constitution” Brownback. Not even Senator Chuck Hagel, a Republican, who in the past week has not only shown he has a HUGE pair but has also revealed in GQ—a pip of a pipster’s magazine—that the Bush Administration originally planned to overtake the entire Middle East. Most definitely.

Like a delusional Pip, perhaps Chimpy got wrapped up in one of his State of Confusion honoree’s work—Julie Aigner-Clark, creator of none other than the Baby Einstein line. Yeah, he honored her for her philanthropy/community service efforts along with honoring exceptional immigrants and war heroes. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Oh, come on! You have to check out Clark’s DVDs, if not her books. The Baby Einstein DVDs and books are both great learning tools that often combine classical music along with mesmerizing visuals, and they expose infants and toddlers to basic knowledge about all kinds of subjects, ranging from art to astronomy to world geography. Even Pip could’ve learned a thing or two from Baby Einstein. Shit, Clark certainly did, as she made a bundle by selling the line to Disney; hence, the reason for pulling the Baby Einstein, Financial Fairy Tale episode. You got it.

But really: My two love the Baby Einstein stories, especially the ones involving the chimp. No, not George, but the one named Jane who also has great expectations to conquer the world. Jane gets in her plane. Jane stops by one land to learn about it. As ambitious as a Pip, Jane goes happily to another land to learn more.

But not our chimp, George. He goes from one land, only to invade another, and then devises great expectations to invade more. If only our Chimp learned from Clark’s chimp, then maybe the recent BBC poll about how the U.S. image in the world has sharply declined wouldn’t be so shocking. Alas, we must journey through one more year with great expectations to reach our final State of Delusion.

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