HIT HER WITH YOUR BEST SHOT: THE BOXER IN BARBARA
(dedicated to KT—a woman [ & good friend] with balls)

Quite frankly, I’m pretty stunned by all the coverage Senator Barbara Boxer received in her most recent smackdown of Condoliar Rice during the Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on Thursday. The folks over at Wonkette, one of my favorite blogs, claimed that Boxer “c*nt-punched” Condosleezza—“s” intended. Whiny feminists have been clamoring that it wasn’t “fair” of Boxer to insinuate that Condi couldn’t empathize with the war dead because she’s not a mother. Snap out of it! The New York Post, which is fair, balanced, and Murdoched asserted that Boxer’s questioning was a “low blow.” Even Rush Limfart weighed in—picture that—scary, huh? Viagra-taking Flush said that Boxer’s treatment was, get this: unfair. I won’t even go into the orgy fest that Fox Fiction is doing this weekend about Boxer. Boo-hoo, poor Condi. Would you like me to do my impression of Linda Blair in The Exorcist now or later?

That all this commentary centers around “the delta of venus,” that feminine space below the belt, rather than the reality of the more than 3000 dead Americans and countless wounded, is a bit troubling. First off, Boxer has been Rice’s nemesis since Rice went through her confirmation hearings for Secretary of State in January 2005; that Boxer had conveniently forgotten, in the summer of 2006, how Captain Lieberman opposed her opposition against Condi is a different story for a different entry. It was Boxer, not her Democrat male colleagues at the time, who had the balls to throw Rice up against the ropes by showing Rice where and when she had repeatedly contradicted herself and the president. This gained so much media attention that SNL couldn’t resist doing a spoof. Maya Rudolph was a better Condi than she had been a Donatella.

Since that initial bitch slap, Boxer has been relentless against Condi in hearing after hearing, and the good senator has said far worse than what she said on Thursday, including a verbal scud about Condi’s dishonesty to which a shaken Condi asked Boxer not to “impugn her integrity.”

The question is: Where have these “venus” spectators been? Second off, and perhaps even more importantly, Condi has just as big a pair as Boxer does. I’m sorry: all this sudden sympathy for steely-eyed, dominatrix-boot wearing, serial lying Condi makes me think about Linda Blair and the right kind of consistency of pea soup for my interpretation.

Why do we Americans “fixate” on and try to “castrate” women with balls? Interestingly, the media has sort of downplayed Senator Chuck Hagel, a Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, and his treatment of Fangoliar Rice on Thursday, which included a scathing exchange about the meaning of escalation—or augmentation as Condi would have it.

It was Pat Benatar, a petite woman with a big voice and big pair in the 80s, who howled against her opposition in such anthems as “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” & “Love is a Battlefield.” It was Senator Boxer who hit Condi once again with her best shot on Thursday that made many of us realize perhaps all is not fair in love and war for women with balls.