Saturday, May 12, 2007



I couldn’t get that ditty out of my mind. She was a bit country. He was a bit rock-n-roll. She was a bit of Memphis and Nashville. He had a little bit of Motown in his soul.

Maybe it was the sugar overdose. Perhaps it was the toddler parent caffeine addiction so many of us feed. It could very well have been the last lap for teachers; as we crawl on our hands and knees to June, anything and everything seems like a hallucination. Nope—there was another reason for my 8-track flashback.

Like a bad
K-TEL vinyl compilation of ‘70s music, it was a Donny & Marie kind of week here in good ol’ America. Hell, even King George wanted to take all of us back, including the Queen of England, to 1976, that cheery sun shine, big smile, big love era. Of course, as expected, Chimpy’s ‘70s vinyl had one too many skips, and he had to go to 1776 before he got to 1976. Can our royal f**k-up get anything right?

With HBO’s
Big Love due for its second season and porn-star named Mitt Romney showing his photogenic face and sexy smile all over the place, Mormonism proved to be as hot now as it was when the Osmonds dominated the cultural landscape back in the day. Of course, thanks to Rev. Al Sharpton, who’s always good for inserting feet into mouth while making stock prices for soar, things have got even hotter than my D & M show theme fantasy. Hey, you can’t tell me that Larry King resurrecting Marie Osmond from the Kathy Griffith D-list for insightful commentary on his show this week was a coincidence.

But don’t let The Donnie & Marie Flashback worry you: it might be a sign of good things to come. Romney’s
turning on the Bush administration. Several Republican congressmen are turning on the Bush administration. The ground game in Iraq is FOREVER turning on the Bush administration, with yet another stunning report that billions in oil money have oozed into the ether. And Fredo—who sadly can’t distinguish one lie from another lately—enables countless others rightfully to turn on the Bush administration.

Mesmerized by that ditty, though, I foolishly got stuck in my daydream believing. As sky rockets were in flight amidst an afternoon delight, I experienced the ultimate artificial high: The Internets (s intended) reported that for 12 seconds, CNN international had an incorrect breaking news announcement that Bush
resigned, which literally broke my high. Where is my gold dust woman when I need her?

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