"Holt" the Hacking

“HOLT” THE HACKING

While some of us resisted the recent fake news of Lindsay and the Astronauts, Starzilla’s gastric bypass surgery, and the really, really big news of Nicole Skinny being four months pregnant, we’ve tried to focus our minds on the real news that remains buried beneath the bull.

Yesterday, the mainstream media gave little attention to how researches at the University of California were able to hack into three electronic voting systems just as easily as Attorney Goneliar lies about his lies. Diebold anyone? Clearly, Starzilla coming back from the tabloid dead was far more important; after all, she does look freakier than Fred Thompson.

As The New York Times reports today, Congressman Rush Holt, Democrat of New Jersey, has sponsored a bill to help eliminate the many, many problems associated with electronic voting, including the strong possibility of electronic tampering during the 2008 elections; as we all know, desperate chimpletons do desperate things. According to the Holt bill, all electronic votes cast in a federal election MUST have a paper record and RANDOM audits would be conducted for the sake of quality—non Chimpy—control. Let’s hope this bill hits the House floor for a vote to “holt” the hacking.