Scary Things

Scary Things

We should’ve known. After all, the summer blockbuster season is upon us. The last installment in the Harry Potter epic will be out on Saturday. And Hey Paula seems to be the reality TV hit of the season. Of course, the Chimpy political machine must make its presence known.

The resurrection of The Prince of Darkness, Bob Novak, should’ve clued us in. With Darth Novak’s ceremonious return from a self-induced witness protection gig from the Plame headline, we have the latest wave of Chimpy & Co.’s reign of terror. We should all listen to our gut feelings about what this means.

What’s different with this wave, though, is that the Chimpy Storytelling department shows a real sloppiness with their use of fear, and, alas, it may be finally backfiring on them. Let’s start with the epicenter of much terror, Iraq, where real terrorism seems to be multiplying faster than American Idol goes into more syndication. Dispatching fear queen, counterterrorism adviser Frances Townsend, the administration invoked al-Qaida this week as much as Bravo TV has been promoting Hey Paula. Poor Paula: now she has to compete with Osama-Not-Been-Found for ratings. The subtext of what Townsend broadcast to us—to no surprise—is that the same group the administration claims to have reduced and restricted in its war on terror is stronger than ever. There’s a shocker. However, somebody in the storytelling department didn’t get the story right and may need a refresher of Abul’s “Straight Up.” Because now, in so many words, they are admitting that al-Qaida may come here because we aren’t containing them over there—yet another indication that things in Iraq aren’t as good as pajama-party boy Captain Lieberman and company would like you to think.

The Townsend episode din’t get the fear traction Chimpy wanted, even with the MSM downplaying the Democratic initiated all-nighter on Iraq in the Senate as mere “political theater.” For one would only have to read beyond the Townsend narrative to learn that others in Chimpy’s corner are struggling with assessing Iraq as nice and cute like Paula assesses a tone-deaf contestant on American Idol. For example today, Ambassador to Iraq, Ryan Crocker, gave a rather grim assessment of things to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, attempting to move the goal posts yet again. Crocker did mention, though, that “fear” pervades Iraq in all aspects, which must’ve made the Chimper proud.

Also riding the fear wave to make Chimpy proud was none other than porn-star-named Mitt Romney. Rather than tackle Iraq, a real scary thing, slick Mitt attacked Barack Obama who stated that kindergarten students ought to be taught the difference between a good touch and a bad touch in an effort to protect them from pedophiles. Jumping on his surfboard to ride the fear wave of the reactionary right, slick Mitt—who approved of age appropriate sex education as governor—made age appropriate instruction for small children to protect them from scary people...the scariest thing of all.