Saturday, March 03, 2007

WHAT'S UP WITH MO?

WHAT’S UP WITH MO?

This entry is dedicated to FA, a conservative, former student of mine, faithful reader, and good friend, who has been harassing me via e-mail from Pennsylvania this weekend with his right-wing spin the donkey.

What’s up with Mo lately? That’s Maureen Dowd. Not only has she once again proven her thesis that men are necessary especially if you want to do a Clinton drive-by, she also seems to be living-out her ol’ Catholic Schoolgirl Self. As a former Catholic Schoolboy and as a Dowd fan, I’m kind of concerned that Mo might be overextending her time on the keg funnel of meanness. After all, we Catholic school kids are taught to share, both our alcohol and our criticisms.

As a never-reformed, school-uniform kid who’s indulged in and seen this meaner than mean behavior before, I can’t help but ask: Mo, what’s up with this drama lately? Did your little foray into Poliwood make you jealous? Are you mad that Geffen is gay? Could it be that you, too, are sick of Anna and Britney? Or is it that you’re angry you weren’t cast in Dreamgirls? Maybe a little bling would make you feel better? Or do you need to take comfort in the Catholic kid excuse for everything: the devil made me do it?

Starting cat fights, interviewing presidential contenders simultaneously to praise and slam them, media-whoring better than Mann Coulter, and just salivating over the prospect that Hillary Clinton may, in fact, be a political vampire who’s sucked all Democratic donors dry, constitute grounds for going to Mother Superior’s office. And NO ONE wants to go to that potentially halitosis-infested space.

Come back to us, Mo. Be satirical. Be that woman of mass analysis to stir the apple cart. Point out the follies of our foolish leaders. Be critical, very critical. Recently, though, you’re reminding me of those kids in the cafeteria who just start drama with everyone just because they have nothing better to do.

Remember, Mo, you can always funnel from the keg anytime you like; but just take it easy so you don’t…overindulge. Whether it’s this keg or that, too much time on the funnel is never a good thing. Beware of Mother Superior.

1 comment:

AA said...

Nice one.