TO FAKE OR NOT TO FAKE?—That is the question.
No, this is not a Carrie Bradshaw inspired entry—if only. Rather, it’s a 1% more conscious consideration of what Governor Sarah Palin didn’t do in her latest go-round with Katie Couric: FAKE IT.
When pressed by Couric about which “newspapers and magazines” the governor reads, the ever troubled Palin couldn’t even resort to what most 8th graders have now since perfected: providing a fake answer. This is a HUGE problem—don’t you think? Instead of rescuing herself once again from the precipice of mass embarrassment, dumb-dumb Sarah belly-flopped off the high-dive because she couldn’t name one source—who cares if she were to tell the truth? I mean, make up something—The Juneau Jump; lie your rimmed glass as@ off—The National Review; go porno—“The Penthouse Letters;” say something—The Wall Street Journal; Sarah, for heaven’s sake—F A K E IT: Newsweek.
In her dizzying gibberish, the best Sarah could offer was that she reads a “vast variety” of news sources. That silly Sarah couldn’t offer one title—just one—from this “vast variety” says a great deal; that she couldn’t or wouldn’t FAKE IT sadly says so much more.
Daddy Fight & ‘08
Like the angry father who can’t or won’t admit that a younger man will eventually replace him, John McOedipus exhibited nothing but disdain and disregard toward Barack Obama during Friday’s debate. It was stunning and pathetically obvious from the initial handshake that McCain thought: “how dare HE be on this stage with ME!” Furthermore, it was horrifically reminiscent of the early debates between Judas Joe Lieberman and Ned Lamont in the summer ’06, as grumpy Joe, then Oedipus Lieberman, adopted the hubris that afflicts so many tragic figures. Perhaps McCain should spend less time with narcissistic Joe and more time with dignified Republicans like Richard Lugar to treat his current psychological disorder. In the cults of personality and orbits of psycho-dynamics, there is a personality factor here that’s quite legible even to the most naïve of eyes. And no one likes a b@stard of a father.
But this Freudian family subtext extends way beyond McCain. Just look at the pundit class, who can’t or won’t admit that Obama won because he had the right temperament and gravitas that Americans unequivocally desire in our leaders. Hell, it’s obvious that Obama was the winner in poll after poll. But despite that, the pundit class, like a group of obnoxious sons and daughters in one, f*cked-up, dysfunctional family, SO want a daddy fight in a major way.
It was laughable to read mean-girl Maureen Dowd—who STILL has Catholic gossip-girl cafeteria disorder—on Sunday again miss the mark in her dreadful analogy to a A Few Good Men. Mika Brzezinski, whom I normally like, followed this morning on Morning Smoe claiming that Obama should’ve and could’ve been meaner. Et tu, Mika?
We DEFINITELY need therapy for this Freudian family disorder, and maybe when Chimpy, who has HUGE daddy-issues that will be on full display in Oliver Stone’s W., leaves office we will alas be free from this mass political psychosis.
’08 & The Classroom Motif
As columnist Bob Herbert noted yesterday, Sarah Palin resembles that unprepared student who clearly doesn’t know much about anything. When Charlie Gibson asked Mrs. Palin about the Bush doctrine, it all became abundantly clear: Mrs. Palin indeed looked like…a moose caught in headlights. Put simply, in educator’s jargon, Mrs. Palin came off as a student BADLY misplaced in a class where she simply does not belong and where she will most likely fail. This could all change, of course, if she cheats; if her symbolic parents—her Rovian surrogates—at the RNC make her jump a grade level, or two, or, hell, ten, on policy; and/or if she shows she can glide by with a low pass in the D range because her “parents” did most of her homework to counterbalance a pathetically low performance on the job.
But what’s most interesting in all of this is the classroom motif that has manifested in the 08’ meta narrative, especially with Mrs. Palin’s meteoric emergence. We hear reports about Mrs. Palin in terms of whether she passed or failed. We hear stories of how Mrs. Palin is “cramming” on foreign policy matters because she knows so little. Yet disturbingly enough, much of the American public digs her “studious” appearance because of her dress and the eyeglasses even though she is perhaps one of the most unqualified republican female politicians Mr. McCain could’ve selected: Imagine had he considered Governor Christine Todd Whitman, Governor Jodi Rell, or Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison? Clearly, these women would be appropriately placed in the narrative of national classroom politics, and, better yet, each of them would be a suitable VP choice for Mr. McCain’s presidential ticket. Perhaps the mainstream media should consider why Mr. McCain LEFT THESE WOMEN BEHIND for a woman whose skills and experience indicate she should stay on the elementary school playground.
“Not That’s There’s Anything Wrong With That”
The Massage
After being b-slapped (that’s blog slapped) by the ever-astute IC, I feel compelled to apologize for my absence from 1 % more consciousness.
ATM (my wife) & I welcomed #3 over a month ago. We had a lot of preparing and adjusting to do because we are never quite sure we know what we are doing with this parenting thing. Rest assured, though: I was not kidnapped by renegade wingtards for some sort of sick tribute to Rush Limfart, bka Jaba, the tart.
For sure, Mary Margaret, our latest arrival, has kept us and her brother and sister quite busy. Indeed, we are a party of 5 getting our grooves on.
But I’m returning this week with regular postings.
Forgive me, IC et al, for I haven’t sinned. We (my multiple personalities & I) have had to do more laps on the kiddy-track than I had anticipated.
Onward…
